Writing, Motherhood and Humor

Breastfeeding and Getting Your Body Back

Posted by on Nov 4, 2015 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Breastfeeding and Getting Your Body Back

Some days I wish there was a way my pre-baby body could have a conversation with my post-baby one, because I’m pretty sure they are two different entities. Like suddenly, I am no longer allergic to oranges and I can eat yogurt without a stomachache. But I am allergic to my supposedly hypo-allergenic cat who previously caused me no issues.

We won’t even get into my new dress size, weird foot problems or crazy periods.

No one seems to want to tell you the truth about breastfeeding. First of all, I read that only 17% of moms nurse for an entire year, so it seems La Leche League and the WHO are more concerned about getting mothers to breastfeed at all at this point. I also imagine the vast majority of mothers don’t experience the exciting symptoms one gets while breastfeeding a toddler.

Here is what I have experienced:

  1. An amazing weight loss at around 9 or 10 months, but then a massive weight gain at around 18 months. Go figure.
  2. Menstruation-free time: total – 19 months. Yay!
  3. Horrible periods from hell that make me want to beg for another epidural. Boo!
  4. Sleeplessness. I was up so many times at night nursing my daughter, than even though she now sleeps longer, I STILL wake up on the old schedule.
  5. Sluggishness – I think I am actually turning into a slug. I am overweight (still – I now call it “breastfeeding weight” instead of “baby weight”), exhausted 80% of the time, and unmotivated.
  6. Thinking that every problem can easily be solved by my putting my boob in my daugher’s mouth. Thankfully I don’t apply this logic to other people’s problems. But if I get any more tired, maybe I will.
  7. Weird foot problems. My body is still overly flexible from the hormones. My feet ache and I have to wear running shoes ALWAYS. With every outfit. Sexy.
  8. All the exciting problems that go along with menopause because I am making so much less estrogen. I basically have to hose my eyes down with eye drops on an hourly basis. We won’t go into other areas of my body. No, we won’t.
  9. Weight distribution that isn’t like my old one. Like sometimes looking 5 months pregnant for no reason. No, I really am not having another baby.
  10. No sex drive. Like none. I have more interest in collecting dollhouse furniture for my daughter’s toy house at this point. Is it the hormones? Exhaustion? Knowledge that my boobs are basically “on call”? Who knows?

Is it worth it to nurse my daughter? YES. Is it EASY because it’s “natural”? No way! I just pray this ends soon so my post-breastfeeding body can make an appearance.

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